Coming to Your Own Rescue
I have a few favorite repetitive sayings in life that seem to fit the challenges of my day. One such saying is, “Don’t worry about me, I am a woMAN” (pronounced Woooah man!). This phrase is frequently used in response to a question about physical strength, like carrying the water or dog food into the house, or putting air in the car tires. You know, “manly” stuff.
There is an internal conflict raging within me about mundane day to day tasks that I am sure my husband is oblivious too. Sometimes I catch myself wishing he would offer to do the classic “romantic” things, like open the car door or pull a seat out for me. Then the other half of my brain rages and screams, “open your own damn door, you have arms!”
Part of the issue is my focus on gender and the other part is simply coming to my own rescue. I suppose I am sensitive to gender issues lately as we have been discussing the topic of feminism and our view points. Mostly my husband and I agree. I feel at peace that we will raise a family with values we can both agree upon.
Setting gender aside, I often wonder and get frustrated with myself that my first instinct when a task appears hard, is to hope someone will assist or do it for me without even attempting to tackle it myself. I want to be self-reliant, strong and independent but also share responsibility and struggles with loved ones to grow closer.
This past year, I am proud of the small progress I have made. Some are tiny victories, like putting air in my own tires, oil changes, hanging shelves, cleaning ovens, vet appointments or any task that is new to me. Some are larger challenges tackled, like moving from Florida to Virginia by myself while my husband was training and all the tasks that moving involves while flying solo.
I am slowly accepting and embracing the fact that I can handle most anything on my own, and I take pride in that. If I feel physically weak, I work out harder. If I feel mentally weak, I zone in and tackle the underlying causes. Now, I come to my own rescue. When I face a mountain of things that I have never done before, small or big I swallow the temptation to wait or ask for help and start taking each task apart piece by piece.
These days the trick is to share responsibility in a marriage. To know when to ask for help, not because I can’t handle it myself, but because that is one of the joys of marriage, having a support at your side. A support that has nothing to do with gender, but a genuine desire to help and love. A teammate, a tag-team-duo. How do you strike that balance?
I am by far not the only writer that has dabbled in this topic. There are inspirational people who have had far bigger struggles in life that they have tackled themselves and became the hero they wished for. Check out the following shout out to articles on how to be your own hero:
You Can Be Your Own Damn Hero – By Shannon Ashley
No One Is Coming To Save You – By Brian Kurian